Ninja Secrets

I found this description online just surfing. Cracked me up.
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This e-book contains all the secrets of the ninja that no one else knows but true ninjas. learn these secrets and you can be a ninja, even if you're still in high school.
you can do badass stuff, like climb walls and even crawl on the ceiling and drop down on your victim and cut their throat with a ninja belt buckle knife before they even know what hit them.
you can be invisible and knock out your enemy and even give him a ninja psychic punch. you can knock him out with the secret ninja psychic punch before he can even be close enough to reach you! who cares how much bigger he is! he's on his ass like that and the ninja (you) is already climbing up the walls of a dark alley.
and you get to learn how to kill with ninja stars. ancient ninjas in japan used to buy these in secret markets, actually not much different from the suburban outdoor flea markets where some of the best ninja stars manufactured today can be found. who cares if the other guy has a gun. you can throw a ninja star over a hundred yards away and in less than a second, like when he blinks, you hit him with such force that he doesnt even see as the ninja star kills him because it hits him in his blind spot, right between the eyes. and it's like halfway into his skull, so he can't see it. he wont even know a ninja killed him, it'll have to be someone else to tell him that it was a ninja who killed him because he would never know otherwise.
and the ninja just doesn't care. he's totally psycho. ninja blood runs through his veins. and he dresses all in black.
all the ninja secrets that no one knows are here in this e-book
please do not share this e-book with enemies of ninjas.

about the only thing that sucks is that you have wear those secret ninja shoes with the big toe sticking out. but i think you can hide it with a bigger pair of shoes on top so your ninja secret that you are a secret ninja stays secret.