Suffering & Prayer

Our greatest example, Jesus Christ, prayed to have it “all” (his suffering and crucifixion) removed if possible but immediately followed up with an understanding and submission to the greater glory of God - Not my will but yours be done! (Matt 26.39).

Sometimes I prayed about my problems without regards to the depth of God’s sovereignty or glory. I prayed “God, please give me money, please restore my health, please make everything good, please fix all my problems”. While those are natural desires and not necessarily wrong to pray, I need to be ready for God’s answer that may very well involve more suffering thru and without.

I should really be praying, “Lord, you know my heart and what I would like to see happen, but what is most important to me is that You are glorified in my suffering to the greatest possible degree. So, Father, I ask that You open my spiritual eyes and show me what brings You the most glory even if it does not fix my problems like I want, even if it does not grant my desire, or restore what is lost or what I am missing/craving.”

Romans 8:28 And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.

If God receives greater glory through my greater suffering (1Pet 3.17), then suffering is the answer to my prayers (1Pet 2.19).

If the Lord is magnified in the lives around me through a loss of material possession, then take it all.

If the Son of God is lifted up through tragedy in my life, then let the tragedies begin (1Pet 4.16)!

It’s all a question of true priorities. Which is more important - my comfort? The restoration of my marriage? My emotional healing? Our prosperity? Or is the glory of God and the Lord Jesus Christ more important(Phil 3.8-10)?

No matter what - I need to pray for and accept the answer to prayer that brings the greatest glory to God (Rom 8.18).

1 Peter 2:21 - For to this you were called, because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that you should follow His steps;

YES, God can be glorified by healing us, blessing us materially and restoring what is broken in our lives. But if that is where we stop, then we are settling for only a portion of God’s blessing - and a lesser portion at that. We’re setting up other Christians to have a “faith crisis” when suffering and trials become God’s will for them.

Thank you, Brent Riggs at http://www.seriousfaith.com

Love and Having Faith, Patience.

The definition of love in the Bible in 1st Corinthians 13.

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails."

It is obvious to me after reading this definition that I did not always love my wife the way God intended for me to. I had the "feelings" of love for her. I have learned a valuable lesson since beginning my stand for God’s will for my marriage. Now I spend a lot of time daily in the Word and I read books on love and marriage. One lesson that I've learned is just because we have feelings of love for someone does not mean we are really loving them. Ultimately, love is a choice (so is loneliness but that's a whole 'nuther discussion). Real love is to sacrifice my own wants, needs, desires and feelings for the wants, needs, desires and feelings of the one I love. Jill has shown me real love for 17 years. Real love is demonstrated without pity and anger. I do really love her but haven't always showed it I'm being kept from showing it now. I still choose to love her right and no one makes me do these things. I make the choice and I do them out of love. Love is sacrifice without self pity and anger.

Christ died for me. I know that He could have taken Himself off that cross anytime He felt like it. His sacrifice was made out of unselfish love for me. He was not angry because He thought He “had to do it out of obligation”. He did it because He loved me even though He knew that I would continue to fail Him and hurt Him.

Christ knew that I would never be able to return that same level of commitment and love to Him. This is the way that I am to love my wife. After asking myself a lot of really hard questions, I saw that I had failed my wife in this way and in others. Here are some examples of how - maybe some of them will sound familiar;

"Love is patient" -

How many times did I rush my wife to make a decision? How many times did I wake her early in order to do my will? How often was I angry when she came home late from work? I even hurried her out of the bathroom on hundreds of occasions.

"Love is Kind" -

Many times in my impatience to get somewhere, I told my wife she was primping in front of the mirror. How many times did I speak unkind words to her because of anger and resentment? How many times did I point out her mistakes? I could not see the plank in my own eye because I was too busy trying to get the speck out of hers! (Matthew 7:3)

"Love does not envy" -

How often did I envy my wife because of her health and physical appearance? She is the most beautiful woman and my own dislike for myself made me a little bit envious of her. My low self-esteem made me somewhat jealous. I perceived her role in life as easier than mine. Until the Lord opened my eyes, I felt that I had the short end of the stick in so many areas.

"Love does not boast and it is not proud" -

I would often "toot my own horn". How many times did I belittle or shame my wife because she could not do the things that I could do or think the way that I could? The truth is, I cannot do half of what she can! Why could I not see that we both complimented each other in our strengths and weaknesses? This is the way that God intended it to be.

"Love is not rude or self-seeking" -

How many times did I think my wife was being selfish when it was I that was being selfish? I was very demanding. So many times, I put all of my needs above hers. The saddest part is, she took my words to heart. I believe that when she left, she not only disliked me, but also herself because she believed all my words and she felt that she had failed us.

"Love is not easily angered" -

Easily angered could have been my middle name! My wife feared me in a way. I'm sure that she felt like she was walking on thin ice whenever she was around me. I was angry about her lack of communication, but she was afraid to speak! Several times she told me that she could not express her feelings because there were consequences from me for whatever she said. I could not understand that at the time. I’m sorry.

"Love keeps no record of wrongs" -

This is a big one for me! I realized that I had been hanging on to every wrong thing that she had ever done to me. Anytime we had conflict or an argument, I would be fierce in my logic and reasoning. I was effective at winning the battle, but my attitude and behavior helped me to lose the war. My heart was filled with the anger and pain of betrayal and unforgiveness. My wife never asked me to forgive her, but still, it is difficult and it seems that there are moments when I am unable to fully & completely forgive her because of the hardness of my own heart. I know I can forgiver her but now her heart is completely closed and hardened. Only a miracle could get thru to her now.

"Love does not delight in evil but always rejoices in truth" -

I've never delighted in evil but I know that I was blind to my own behavior. I still am sometimes without realizing it. Often the enemy will blind me to the truth. I thought my behavior was justified, that I had a “right” to feel the way I did. This is just one of the lies that helped to destroy our relationship.

After my wife left, I turned to God because the pain was so great that I could not handle it alone. This was my “road to Damascus” experience.

"Immediately, something like scales fell from Saul's eyes, and he was able to see again." Acts 9:18

When I turned to God, I asked Him to change my wife, reveal the truth to her and bring her back to me. Instead - God revealed the truth to me. And the truth is setting me free.

"Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails." -

This is the way I long to love my wife now. By hoping, persevering and never giving up! But I never would have felt that way if God had not dealt with me. I failed my wife in the past. I hurt her without even realizing it. I honestly felt that I was the best husband I could be. She often told me I was. I still read those emails in which she expressed her heart-felt love for me. It’s hard to believe after the things she’s done to me since. I did many loving things for my wife, but did I truly love her the way God intended?

No.

Not always, anyway. I would even go so far as to say that I rarely loved her properly.

The description of love found in 1 Corinthians 13 is the love of Christ. It is impossible for any person to love another in this way all the time. This is perfect love, and only Jesus is perfect. But this is the kind of love that I should strive to give to her every day. I will only be able to do this if I allow God to change me.

I am praying for the restoration of our relationship and marriage. When God brings my wife and I back together, I do NOT want to make the same mistakes. I never want to go through this again! I never want to put our precious children through this again! Not ever again. I am humbling myself before God, asking Him to remove the scales from my own eyes and change ME.

I am not trying to diminish the wrongs done to me by my wife, but I cannot focus on them. It's destructive to my spirit. I have to lay those wrongs at the foot of the cross and let them go once and for all. We spent almost 20 years together – growing and changing. But standing my ground and trying to change her without accepting the fact that I needed changing was stupid of me. Where did it get me? I am learning to love God's way, even if I feel that she will continue to fail me and hurt me. Even if Jill never returns the same level of commitment and love. I will continue to pray for her and I - letting God guide and direct the changing that needs to be done in both of us.

Until the time is right (God’s timing is always perfect), if that time comes, I can be at peace knowing that she is much better off in God’s hands than in mine. I know when or if that time ever comes, there will be peace and love in our hearts when we think of each other. Until then, it just ain’t right for us to be together. I’m staying patient, keeping the faith that God's desire for marriage will be done in ours because we love God and trust Him, and allow Him to lead us. There is no doubt in my mind that Jill and I both are called according to His purpose. Our children are, too.

"Do you believe that I am able to do this? According to your faith will it be done to you."
Matthew 9:28-29

Influence...

The path of the righteous is like the light of dawn, that shines brighter and brighter until the full day.

Proverbs 4:18 But - Just men daily grow in knowledge, and grace, and consolation, 'till all be perfected and swallowed up in glory.

Commentary:
Much of Proverbs chapter 4 is a word of caution. We must take heed of falling in with sin and sinners: Enter not into the paths of the wicked. Jesus, our teacher, being like a faithful guide showed us the right paths, warned us of the pathways into which we are in danger of being drawn aside and away from God. It can and sometimes happens even to the best of us. Those that have been well educated, and trained up in the way they should be, let them never turn aside into the way they should never go; let them not so much as enter into it, no, not even just to try it, it is a dangerous experiment and difficult to retreat with safety.

Even tho Jesus said it is the sick that need a doctor.....

There comes a point to where we are obligated to leave & forget the 'sick' or avoid them altogether - Proverbs 4:14-20 basically tells us to venture not into the company of those that are infected with the plague. Not even if we think we are guarded with an antidote.

In these verses, having exhorted us to walk in the paths of wisdom, he cautions us against the path of the wicked.

1. We must take heed of the ways of sin and avoid them, every thing that looks like sin and might also lead to it.

2. In order to accomplish this we must keep out of the ways of sinners, and have no fellowship with them. To keep us from falling into wickedness, we must shun wicked company.

Thru All My Pain.......

.....I have this among other encouraging words from The Holy Bible:

“Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy.
He who goes out weeping, carrying seed to sow, will
return with joy carrying sheaves with him.” (Psalm 126:5-6)

Hmmm. I guess we'll have to do the best we can and see how it goes.

Some Inspiring Quotes....

From various sources.....

• * When there are two people in business who always agree, one of them is unnecessary.
  
  
• * If we want a thing badly enough we can make it happen. If we let ourselves be discouraged that is proof that our wanting was inadequate.
  
  
• * The strongest words are often used in the weakest arguments.
  
  
• * Chance favors the prepared mind.
  

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I prefer just about anything from the book of Proverbs..... (these are randomly chosen)


* Do not answer fools according to their folly, or you will be a fool yourself.

* It is better to live in a corner on the housetop than in a house shared with a contentious wife.

* Ch. 2 V. 6-11: For the LORD gives wisdom, and from his mouth come knowledge and understanding.

He holds victory in store for the upright. He is a shield to those whose walk is blameless - for he guards the course of the just and protects the way of his faithful ones. Then you will understand what is right and just and fair — every good path.

For wisdom will enter your heart, and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul. Discretion will protect you, and understanding will guard you.

— King Solomon

Fun With Oranges

Everyone's probably done this at some point.

I just went another step in carving out the squares in the orange peel.

Geez, I look like a bonefide nutcase!

:)

Ninja Secrets

I found this description online just surfing. Cracked me up.
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This e-book contains all the secrets of the ninja that no one else knows but true ninjas. learn these secrets and you can be a ninja, even if you're still in high school.
you can do badass stuff, like climb walls and even crawl on the ceiling and drop down on your victim and cut their throat with a ninja belt buckle knife before they even know what hit them.
you can be invisible and knock out your enemy and even give him a ninja psychic punch. you can knock him out with the secret ninja psychic punch before he can even be close enough to reach you! who cares how much bigger he is! he's on his ass like that and the ninja (you) is already climbing up the walls of a dark alley.
and you get to learn how to kill with ninja stars. ancient ninjas in japan used to buy these in secret markets, actually not much different from the suburban outdoor flea markets where some of the best ninja stars manufactured today can be found. who cares if the other guy has a gun. you can throw a ninja star over a hundred yards away and in less than a second, like when he blinks, you hit him with such force that he doesnt even see as the ninja star kills him because it hits him in his blind spot, right between the eyes. and it's like halfway into his skull, so he can't see it. he wont even know a ninja killed him, it'll have to be someone else to tell him that it was a ninja who killed him because he would never know otherwise.
and the ninja just doesn't care. he's totally psycho. ninja blood runs through his veins. and he dresses all in black.
all the ninja secrets that no one knows are here in this e-book
please do not share this e-book with enemies of ninjas.

about the only thing that sucks is that you have wear those secret ninja shoes with the big toe sticking out. but i think you can hide it with a bigger pair of shoes on top so your ninja secret that you are a secret ninja stays secret.